A secret I want to share

11 August 2015

Hello lovely friends.  I want to share a little secret with you, something that I struggle with and which has become more and more prominent in my life recently.

I suffer terribly with anxiety - the smallest of things can set me off and I tend to worry about things which I just don't need to worry about.

I worry about going out on day trips with Jack - especially if it is a longer than normal journey in the car.  It makes me anxious to think he will get upset and start crying.

I stress out MAJORLY if I am going to be late or if Mani wants to do something and I am ready to go out.  The poor guy just wants to brush his teeth or put a load of washing on and there I am tapping my foot huffing and puffing, pushing him out the door.

If I don't feel in control of a situation this makes me feel nervous and very worried.  I like to know when and how things will happen and as we all know, unfortunately life just doesn't work like that most of the time.

These are just a few of the many things that make me anxious.  Sometimes I cannot even pinpoint what is making me feel this way.  It is the strangest thing.

Just writing this post and thinking about it is making my chest a bit tight and that feeling of pressure and burden is weighing on my chest.  This feeling has been getting worse over the past months - not sure why, the pregnancy hormones and being physically tired certainly don't help.  But I decided to have a bit of counselling and it has worked wonders.  Just talking to someone who isn't your Mom or husband was a great choice and I have some coping techniques now when I start to feel anxious and/or irritable.

Anxiety is a real thing and many people suffer with it.  While mine is a general anxiety condition which I suffer with one a daily basis I have come to learn how to cope with it and tackle it head on.  Asking myself why I am feeling something, doing something about that feeling and then letting it go is such a cathartic exercise and it has also taught me to be more mindful and to take in the here and now.  I am famous for living in the future and I always struggle to  "enjoy the moment".  And to be honest I always think I will struggle with that way of thinking.  I am a dreamer, I am always thinking of ways to be more happier, more organised, more this, more that.  It is my personality.  But what I am working on is just relaxing and then being in there here and now will come naturally I think.

So that is my little secret I wanted to share.  We all have our problems.  We are human.  But the joyful thing is that we can tackle any problem that befalls us - it is all about perspective, attitude and willingness to learn how to deal with it.


1 comment

  1. I just want you to know you are not alone in this - I have exactly the same problem (GAD). I have mini panic attacks most days in some form or not. I even have a mild heart condition (arrhythmia) because of it. It certainly is not fun and it makes you feel like you are losing your mind some days. I also am someone who lives in the future very much. I'm a dreamer, a planner and I have a vivid imagination :) These are our gifts and our curse. I, like you, also want to be in control of things, which is why I hate flying.

    The less I drink coffee, the more water I drink, the more healthy fats (tinned fish, coconut oil, saturated fat) I eat, the more chamomile tea and calm time - the more I can curb the anxiety. Also meditation or Andrew Johnson hypnosis app both help. I also started taking magnesium powder in water once a day - most people are deficient in magnesium and it basically is the "off" button in your body to calm down your cells.

    There definitely is no magic pill and a lot of it is about learning to shift your thoughts onto something else. Just know you aren't alone! As bad they feel (and I know because I've been to the ER many times thinking I was dying) - we will NOT die, we will be fine. We just need to breathe through them. :)



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